Helping You Find Your Confidence Again
Have self doubt and lacking confidence?
Self esteem is how we think about ourselves and how we then value ourselves. Having low self esteem can therefore greatly impact our health and happiness and can greatly impact our confidence in our own abilities.
When we have low self esteem and low confidence then we may not feel worthy and so fear the unknown, fear trying because we feel that we will fail and even fear of what others might think about us. Lack of confidence, and self esteem therefore, can hold us back from achieving our real potential both in our professional and personal lives. It can also increase our stress levels and also lead to depression.
Have you noticed that those people with a high confidence and self esteem seem to do better at work or in their personal life? When something does not work out they easily bounce back and try again and quickly overcome adversity in order to reach their goals. They are also able to quickly pick themselves up with reassuring thoughts and they do not go down the route of self loathing. That is not to say that they do not feel pain of rejection or hurt, they do, but they can actually work their way through this and carry on with their lives.
What Causes Low Confidence and Low Self-Esteem?
When we are born we are full of confidence and self esteem. It is not a genetic issue. Therefore, think of a baby learning to walk – even though they may fall over and fail initially they will keep on trying. However, over time whilst we are growing up we undergo a lot of positive and negative reinforcement from our families, friends, school and even in our working lives. Each comment about ourselves does actually have a significant impact on how we feel about ourselves and this is especially true during our formative years.
Sadly negative reinforcement does actually have a greater impact during this time and gets filed away in our subconscious mind. Traumatic experiences can also have a significant impact on our self esteem and confidence. These experiences can knock our confidence and make us feel unworthy.
Over time these negative perceptions become almost like a comfort blanket. If we have a bad experience then we will try and avoid the same situation again and our subconscious does exactly that automatically. This can build up overtime to us feeling that we are bad at something and then being wary of even trying to do something.
Not everyone is affected by a low esteem in the same way either. Whilst some people might just struggle in certain situations, others may suffer from depression, or lack assertiveness, or become overly sensitive to any form of criticism, or lack motivation as they feel it is not worth trying as they will fail. Low self esteem can feel very debilitating.