Self esteem is how we think about ourselves and how we then value ourselves. Having low self esteem can therefore greatly impact our health and happiness and can greatly impact our confidence in our own abilities.
When we have low self esteem and low confidence then we may not feel worthy and so fear the unknown, fear trying because we feel that we will fail and even fear of what others might think about us. Lack of confidence, and self esteem therefore, can hold us back from achieving our real potential both in our professional and personal lives. It can also increase our stress levels and also lead to depression.
Have you noticed that those people with a high confidence and self esteem seem to do better at work or in their personal life? When something does not work out they easily bounce back and try again and quickly overcome adversity in order to reach their goals. They are also able to quickly pick themselves up with reassuring thoughts and they do not go down the route of self loathing. That is not to say that they do not feel pain of rejection or hurt, they do, but they can actually work their way through this and carry on with their lives.
When we are born we are full of confidence and self esteem. It is not a genetic issue. Therefore, think of a baby learning to walk - even though they may fall over and fail initially they will keep on trying. However, over time whilst we are growing up we undergo a lot of positive and negative reinforcement from our families, friends, school and even in our working lives. Each comment about ourselves does actually have a significant impact on how we feel about ourselves and this is especially true during our formative years.
Sadly negative reinforcement does actually have a greater impact during this time and gets filed away in our subconscious mind. Traumatic experiences can also have a significant impact on our self esteem and confidence. These experiences can knock our confidence and make us feel unworthy.
Over time these negative perceptions become almost like a comfort blanket. If we have a bad experience then we will try and avoid the same situation again and our subconscious does exactly that automatically. This can build up overtime to us feeling that we are bad at something and then being wary of even trying to do something.
Not everyone is affected by a low esteem in the same way either. Whilst some people might just struggle in certain situations, others may suffer from depression, or lack assertiveness, or become overly sensitive to any form of criticism, or lack motivation as they feel it is not worth trying as they will fail. Low self esteem can feel very debilitating.
You are now aware that low self esteem is a learned behaviour in your subconscious. And therefore if something has been learned we can unlearn it or learn something else to take its place. Therefore, the negative thoughts and behaviours can be unlearned by understanding why they appeared and changing your perception of them or by replacing them with more positive thoughts.
The first step in rebuilding your self esteem or self confidence is for us to discuss the root of these issues. You may or may not be aware of where or when these feelings initially started but through discussions with myself we will understand the underlying issues that are at the root of your self esteem issues. By understanding what is at the heart of the lack of esteem gives us the best route forward to help you achieve your goals.
Our lack of self esteem and confidence is so ingrained in our subconscious, however, that it can be hard to change by will power alone. Hypnotherapy in this case can be so powerful as it helps us to talk directly to the subconscious in order to change these negative thought patterns and to help encourage more positive though patterns. Therefore, instead of the subconscious fearing something it can be taught to protect and encourage and support.
During treatment for self esteem and confidence we also help you to relax and we also help you to use self hypnosis to continue with your treatment when you are away from the therapy room.
If you are interested in finding out more and how I can help you overcome any self esteem or confidence issues, then either call me on 01908 991726 or contact me here. We offer a free no obligation initial consultation so that you can see how we would work together.